My Life List

I have always wanted to make a list- THE list. The list of things one would like to do before a certain age. I never made a list, though, because I was positive nothing would get done and that would be terribly sad. But, in the spirit of this new blog and finding peace and balance and all that, I figured I should probably put it out there and give it a whirl. So, without further ado, I give you THE LIST.

Things To Do Before I Turn 60
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1. Learn to crochet
2. Travel to Italy
3. Refinish our hardwood floors
4. Travel to Austria
5. Own chickens
6. Take a cruise with my mom
7. Take Carina to Disneyworld and Sea World
8. Travel to London and immerse myself in Tudor tourist splendor. Also see Katherine Swynford's tomb.
9. Go back to Alaska
10. Learn to garden and garden well. Landscaping, anyone?
11. Travel (see a theme, here?) to Switzerland
12. Become debt free
13. Travel to New England (especially Maine)
14. Spend a summer camping. I want to rent an RV and convince my hubby to drive it cross country.
15. Spend more time reading the Bible and getting closer to God's Word.


I will add more as they come to me. :)

Time to say goodbye...

to my old friend, Paxil. It has helped me through the last few years of life, but I also feel it has helped me MISS quite a bit of those last few years. I am the classic example of someone who knows better, but does it anyway- pharmacy tech, planned to go to pharmacy school... but no, I am not compliant with my own prescriptions. I would take my pills a few days, few weeks- even the triumph of a few months in a row... and then I would lapse. I would forget one day, and that day would snowball into weeks and months of noncompliance. Oops.

So I have decided to end this once and for all. This is me, trying to find the right balance in life. I don't like the way the Paxil makes me feel. I feel disconnected. I feel no pain, sure... but I feel no happiness either. Just something in between. Indifference? Maybe.

This makes me sad. I am scared I missed out on countless memories with my family because of this in-between state. I am stating, out loud, (well, sort of) that I don't want to be that person anymore. The in-between person. I don't want to miss any more moments... I fear I have missed too many already.

I am praying a lot... praying that God will give me the strength I need to stay out of the in-between. It's murky there, and I don't like it. I much prefer my daughter's vibrancy... who wouldn't, really?

I am scared. I am SO scared. I find myself watching her- looking for any sign that she may one day descend into the murkiness of the in-between. I pray about that as well- that God will help her retain the happiness and pure joy I see in her now as she goes through her life. No murk for her, I tell you. Not if I can help it.

<3>

Carina's fingerprint art for the yearbook. She loves her pug!

Lovely day today...

Even though it rained again. I LOVE storms... not so much in love with rain that comes without thunder and lightning.

I had a wonderful day today- church with my family, lunch at our favorite Chinese place, a run to Sam's Club and Home Depot. Super nice day... I still feel my peace and that in itself is a minor miracle.

Am excited about my square-foot-garden-to-be. We bought the wood today and hopefully can get it together in time to plant next weekend. Not sure what we will plant, but for sure plan to do beets. I love beets.



Simple Women's Daybook
FOR TODAY
Outside my window...More rain!

I am thinking...that I adore my little girl.

I am thankful for...love with not strings.

From the kitchen...Brendan's French Onion soup. The best, hands down.

I am wearing...grey sweatpants and my old, holey, ratty KC Chiefs sweatshirt.

I am creating...my mom's poem sheet for Bunco

I am going...to have a great night.

I am reading...Still reading Shadow Kiss- LOVE Dimitri.

I am hoping...I can figure out what Bren wants for his birthday.

I am hearing... Eddie snoring.

Around the house...Laundry piles that need to be put away.

One of my favorite things...Scentsy

A few plans for the rest of the week: yearbook, work on Tuesday, cleaning/organizing

Here is picture for thought I am sharing... just because it makes me smile.

Something I have been wanting to do for a while now...

I read about the Simple Woman's Daybook on another blog about a year ago, and I loved the idea of it. Taking the time to sit and record your daily thoughts is a great step toward finding balance in your life. So I now present my first "Simple Woman's Daybook":

FOR TODAY

Outside my window... Rain.

I am thinking...about the Bethel yearbook

I am thankful for...my family

From the kitchen...Drunken Pot Roast and Hasselback potatoes

I am wearing...black top and my favorite jeans (This is a recurring answer, as I am sure we will find out)

I am creating...the yearbook cover

I am going...to bed soon, I hope

I am reading...Shadow Kiss (Vampire Academy book) for the fifth time

I am hoping...I can keep the peace I feel at this moment forever

I am hearing...Carina sing "the foot bone is connected to the leg bone... etc"

Around the house...I see many things that make me happy

One of my favorite things...my new vintage crock I bought at an antique store Thursday

A few plans for the rest of the week: Church, work on yearbook, clean house

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

I am hoping to take a photo each day, but because it is late, I will leave you with this one:

My wonderful mother (her birthday is tomorrow) and my wonderful daughter. I am so lucky to have these sweet people in my life.

Not exactly the new year...

But I feel like it should be. I feel like I have been drowsing my way through life the past few years, and I think I need to shake it off and immerse myself in the wonderful life I have been given. I need to find a balance in life- a balance between too much and not enough; between sadness and happiness; between leisure and accomplishment. I need to step back, figure out what I am supposed to be doing, and then do it... Hopefully this blog will help me work through this.

<3